What I Learned About Habits – Reading "Better Than Before"
Do you have any rules set for yourself, such as waking up at 7:00 every day, going to a gym twice a day, or never eating anything after dinner? I've ever tried to form many habits with great effort. Some trials bore fruit, and others didn't or have yet to. It usually takes a lot of time and effort to develop good habits.
Yet, there are a few exceptions. I didn't have so much effort to remove the bad habit of using my smartphone in my bed for more than 30 minutes before bedtime. Also, when I made it a habit to run for about 10 minutes every day, I had no trouble doing it.
I wondered for a second why sometimes I could easily change or make a new habit. I may develop my habits with less effort if I discover the answer to this question. I searched for a book about habits to find easier ways to make good habits. And I found Better Than Before.
There were many things to learn, so I'd like to write what I learned from Better Than Before in this post.
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| Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash |
Habits free us from decision-making
As mentioned above, I was looking for books that would tell me about habits, and I discovered Better Than Before. As soon as I started to read it, I got the first takeaway; habits save us from decision-making. That was a good realization. I never thought like that.
Looking back on my past, what made it hard to quit a mobile app game was the decision-making. Many of my attempts failed; uninstall the mobile game app, use Screen Time, reset account data, etc. That's because I could reinstall the app, extend Screen Time, and start it over again from zero. In quitting the mobile game, I needed much mental energy to not do so. But one day, I was at last able to completely give away the mobile game. Since then, I have needed no decision-making anymore. I'm free from the mobile game because starting it again is out of options.
We need to know ourselves first
No sooner did I understand the first takeaway than I got another one: we need to know ourselves first. It surprised me. I expected this book to instruct me on developing good habits, but my idea was wrong. There is no universal method applicable to everyone. Some way may suit someone, but it may not another one. Knowing ourselves helps us understand what type of approach fits us, and therefore the first essential step to forming good habits.
The author introduces the Four Tendencies framework, which divides people into four types – Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels – in terms of inner and outer expectations. I found it difficult to fit myself into one of the four types. I'm probably between Upholder and Questioner, but at least I'm mainly driven by inner motivation.
The 10-minute run is one of my habits, for example. I started to do so just because I learned it benefits my brain. No one told me to do so. The 10-minute run became a rule of mine. The idea of stopping it has never come to me. Knowing the benefits of exercise drives me to follow that rule I set for myself.
Many useful strategies
After explaining the importance of self-knowledge, many strategies regarding habits follow. Monitoring, Foundation, Scheduling, Accountability, and so on. Every concept introduced in the book taught me a lot, but I'll pick up some thought-provoking ideas here.
Monitoring
The author says monitoring can change our behaviors. Monitoring visualizes our behavioral changes or actual status. We'll gain deep insights into ourselves by observing our actions or status.
I see; that's why I quit using my smartphone before sleeping. I started to measure my sleep hour with my smartwatch a while ago. And I realized my sleep hour was much shorter than I had expected. I wondered how to sleep longer, and soon I got a solution: quit my midnight smartphone usage. As the book says, monitoring changed my habit.
Abstaining
This idea interested me; some people feel giving something up completely is more effortless than indulging it moderately. I haven't thought of such a counterintuitive idea, but I'm one of some people.
I tried restricting my mobile game time to avoid too much smartphone game indulgence, but it didn't work. I couldn't enjoy a mobile game moderately. Once I started the mobile game, I couldn't stop it. One more 15 minutes, one more 15 minutes... In the worst case, I took one more 15 minutes ten times. However, after successfully throwing away the mobile game, there's no problem. I rarely think back to the mobile game; even if I do, I don't feel like playing it anymore.
Convenience
To a truly remarkable extent, we're more likely to do something if it's convenient, and less likely if it's not.
Above is a quote from Better Than Before. It was very intuitive, but also what I wasn't aware of. I should be more aware of the importance of Convenience. Come to think of one of my habits, 10-minute running, I realized I unconsciously take advantage of Convenience.
As a junior high school student, I forced myself to run for over 30 minutes daily to improve my physical strength. To be honest, I didn't want to do that, but I did because I thought I should. Every after school, I changed my clothes and went out for a hard 30-minute run. However, one day my knees slightly ached. I went to a doctor to see my knees. My knees had no problem, but the doctor told me not to push myself. I concluded that the 30-minute run was the cause and quit the running habit. I shouldn't force myself, should I? As far as I remember, my habit of running for 30 minutes didn't last more than two months.
But is running for 30 minutes challenging for a junior high school student? If the cause of my knee pain was the 30-minute run, probably the way of doing it was wrong. Lack of warm-up, for example. Or even if 30 minutes was too long, I could've started with 10 minutes, little by little. I merely didn't want to do it. There were at least two reasons:
- I felt changing my clothes was inconvenient. Why should I take the trouble doing it for a hard and not-fun-at-all running?
- Thirty minutes was too long for me. Of course, it wasn't too much physically, but mentally, it was.
- I don't change my clothes for running. I'm always in casual wear, so I don't need to do so. Ideally, running wear may be better, but it doesn't matter.
- Ten minutes isn't so long, physically or mentally. If I feel like running more, I can do it.
What I thought after reading Better Than Before
On understanding what works and why it works
After reading the book, I realized I already use some strategies to form habits while unaware of them. Sleep hour monitoring by the smartwatch helps me avoid midnight smartphone usage, and Convenience plays a vital role in continuing a daily 10-minute run. But what I want to say is not that I already knew some knowledge the author introduced in the book. What is essential is that the book made me conscious of the strategies and taught me why it works.
Before I read this book, I just tried to do whatever came to mind to develop habits, and sometimes it worked, and many times it didn't. Even if something worked, I didn't know what worked and why. If I don't understand that, I can't reproduce the same kind of success, and I'll have to keep doing trial and error with a low probability of success. But I learned what works and why it works. I can use what I learned from the book to change my habits.
Making something fun a habit
Though I already use some ways of thinkings without being noticed or understanding what it is, most of the strategies in the book were new to me. In particular, I haven't ever considered Distraction or Treat as a strategy for forming habits. I tended to regard developing habits as refraining from distractions or treats.
After reading the book, however, I learned that distractions and treats could also be helpful. Sometimes I feel like doing something fun as a distraction or just for pleasure, and sometimes I actually do. But every time I want to indulge in something, I ask myself, "Do I have time to do that?" or "Do I deserve it?" Also, even if I could answer yes to these questions, the next question comes: "When should I get back to work?"
Once I make a new habit for fun, however, I won't have to ask myself and answer questions. In other words, I can save my mental energy for decision-making. Another good thing is that I can avoid spending too much time on distractions or treats. I learned about those strategies, so I will use them.
We can live our lives better by changing our habits
The book let me realize how essential it is to make good habits. We only have 24 hours a day. It's impossible to get more hours. The only thing we can do is spend time wisely. Good habits make us use our time effectively.
Though making good habits requires much effort, what Better Than Before tells us will reduce the amount of effort we have to make. And once we get a good habit, it will drive us to a better place without our effort. Read Better Than Before, change our habits, and live our lives better.
